Fuel the Fire Read online

  Rose wasn’t a carbon copy of myself, I recognized. She was someone else entirely.

  “You’ll see a lot more of me,” I realized. If she was this smart, I’d see her around the academic circuits. I’d see her even more if I asked her out, but that wasn’t nearly as alluring as being her competitor. Not yet at least.

  “Then you’ll need to buy me some barf bags.” She looked me up and down. I was always physically fit, and I appeared exactly as I dressed: well-off, cultured, proper, rich. An elite boarding school prick.

  “Do you always vomit on guys you like,” I asked, “or just me?”

  She glared. “The more you fish for compliments, the more I want to puke on you.”

  “So it is just me then.”

  She growled.

  I grinned.

  And our respective friends began pulling us away, towards our different hotel rooms. I never realized how bored I had been with life. How mundane my surroundings looked. How unchallenged I’d become.

  I never realized all of these things.

  Until I met her.

  ELEVEN YEARS LATER

  [ 1 ]

  ROSE COBALT

  Take directions from your husband, Rose Cobalt.

  Who, who fated me with this night? You, Rose. A sour taste fills my mouth. I am partly to blame, I’ll admit. I refused to let him drive. I thought if I was behind the wheel, he’d tell me where we’re headed.

  Instead, he’s given me the barest of directions. I’m driving blindly, at his will.

  Take directions from Connor Cobalt, outside of the bedroom. I’d rather drown myself in hot, bubbling magma.

  “Turn left at the light,” Connor says, his fingers to his lips. I catch his smug smile, illuminated in the blue glow of the dashboard.

  I itch to do the opposite, to take a sharp right, but wherever we’re going, I want to be there as much as him. The endgame—which I am privy to—means more to me than starting a fresh rivalry with my husband. So I suck up my overwhelming pride and whip my Escalade left.

  I can feel him gloating. “The more you grin like I’m giving you a quickie in a disgusting public bathroom, the more my ovaries wither and die,” I tell him. “So just think about all of our future children you’re annihilating, Richard.”

  He outstretches his arm behind my headrest. “I’m so extraordinary that my mere grin can make you infertile?”

  “I was insulting you,” I retort, my eyes flickering to him.

  His brow arches with more satisfaction. “It was partially a compliment and partially erroneous.”

  I scoff. “Erroneous?”

  “Illogical, irrational, senseless—”

  “I know what erroneous means. I just want to cut off your tongue for using it against me.” He may be right. It’s not a rational statement, but I would hope my ovaries would stand with me and not firmly on his side.

  “You forget that I use my tongue for your pleasure—turn right.”

  I swing the car to the right. “I don’t need your tongue,” I refute. “I have other means of pleasuring myself.” Though masturbating isn’t quite as good or substantial, but I’m avoiding another compliment towards a man who finds them in insults.

  His fingers drum the headrest. “Are these means battery-operated?”

  I shoot him a sharp look, not denying the truth.

  His thumb brushes my cheek, and I actually relax some. “Your argument lacks evidence, darling. Turn left after this light.”

  I roll to a stop, the red light gleaming along the nearly deserted street. It’s 10 p.m. on Thanksgiving night, everyone eating pie with their families indoors. Not gallivanting across the back roads of Philadelphia on a bizarre mission.

  “Where are we going?” I ask for the fourth time.

  “A parking lot,” he says again.

  “I’ve passed about thirty of them already.” I motion to the empty one beside a dimly lit gas station. “Will that one not suffice?”

  “A specific parking lot,” Connor amends. One that he had to Google on his phone, the device clutched in his palm. “We’re almost there. Do you think your ovaries will survive until then?”

  “Do you plan on impregnating me in this parking lot?” I glare, spinning fully towards him while we wait for the green light. He wears a blue button-down and suit jacket, tailored perfectly for his six-foot-four frame. Connor Cobalt is as classy as he is conceited. Both attract me.

  Both annoy me.

  I’m a paradox. And maybe that’s why he loves me.

  “I plan on impregnating you seven more times,” he declares, “but not tonight.” He cups my face, and his thumb brushes my bottom lip in a slow, measured line.

  My chest falls shallowly, especially as his eyes flit to my mouth. He wants eight kids. An empire. We already have one child together, but there are stipulations that we haven’t discussed in full detail yet if we want more. For another time. Another day. We have too many crises to stir another one.

  “You’re taking too much pleasure in this,” I say a bit quieter than I intended. I’m not even sure what I’m referring to: our proposed empire, him controlling our destination, or turning me on?

  “You’re the one out of breath,” Connor says calmly, but I hear the humor behind his voice. After being married for almost two and a half years, I’ve learned the subtlety in his tones. Either that or he’s decided to ease off the façade for me. I like to think it’s a little of both.

  But I doubt I’ll ever know.

  “It’s green,” he announces without breaking my gaze.

  I turn my head, and his hand drops. I drive to “wherever the hell he directs me to”—which is my least favorite destination.

  After another five minutes, he tells me to slow down and turn right into a parking lot. I pick my foot off the gas and the car lolls.

  “Right here.” He gestures ahead of us.

  I swerve into the empty parking lot and digest my surroundings: the front of a closed fabric store, lights off, the building as dark as the starless sky.

  I park my Escalade in the third row and switch off the ignition, my heart thudding against my tight ribcage. The quiet blankets us, the reality of our choices starting to catch up to my head.

  Connor watches me, not speaking. Maybe he thinks I’ll back out.

  I won’t.

  I understand who and what this is for.

  “Let’s just do this quick.” I unbuckle and swivel around to face him. “Before anyone realizes we’re gone.” We slipped out of my parent’s house after apple pie. I set my six-month-old daughter in my mother’s arms and left her there for a couple hours. That was harder than this will be.

  I pull my glossy brown hair back into a sleek pony, snapping the band violently before I focus on Connor in the passenger seat. His brows are pinched, lines across his forehead, his enjoyment depleting with mine.

  My spine is at a stiff ninety-degree angle, and I struggle to uncross my ankles. “What now?” I ask, though I’m fairly certain I know what happens next.

  “You want instructions?” He gives me a pointed look like, you’ve been arguing with me for the past hour for giving them.

  My eyes flame. “When it comes to your penis, I would like instructions, yes.” I’ve yet to master blowing him, and the whole ordeal gives me an anxious heat that I almost never wear.

  Blowing him in a public parking lot—I never imagined I’d do something so juvenile. But when it comes to protecting the people I love, my list of don’ts decreases dramatically.

  He unclips his seatbelt. “Lean against the door and spread your legs open.” My eyes grow in surprise.

  “What?”

  “Lean against the door—”

  “I heard you the first time,” I retort. “I just…” I have to read between his words. Spread your legs open. I dazedly shake my head.

  Translation: You’re not blowing me, darling.

  He waits for me to accept this switch.

  I hesitate, only because I like fol
lowing the rules. “Connor, they told me to give you oral.” If we really wanted, I could even pretend to blow him. We just need to act like we’re doing it close to the windows.

  He slides near me and reaches down, gripping my ankle. He slips off my black, five-inch heels before I can protest. And then he lifts my feet on the seat, so I’m forced to lean against the door like he previously requested. I need the support anyway, blood rushing through my veins at his strong, assured movements.

  With my ankles still in his grasp, he splits my legs apart. I tug down the hem of my pleated black dress, shrouding my lacy black panties from his view—but more importantly the view of someone outside.

  A determined look pulses in his blue eyes, ambition and confidence that’s harder and better than a slap on the ass.

  He kneels on the seat and reaches beneath my dress, his fingers skimming my panties.

  “Connor,” I warn. All I can think—if we don’t do this right, to their liking, then we’re screwing everything on day one.

  “Ils jouent notre jeu. On ne joue pas le leur.” They play our game. We don’t play theirs. He adds in French, “Ensemble.” Together.

  We do this together or not at all.

  I’m more in love with him, conquering the world by his side, than I ever was as his competition. He was ready to be my teammate the minute I graduated prep school, but I put the brakes on that, choosing a different college than him. I wasn’t ready to be something more. We stayed rivals. He didn’t want to wait for my cap and gown, for our entrance into adulthood, and so when the opportunity arose, he asked me out.

  We dated. We married.

  We had a baby.

  Together, we’re a force of nature to be reckoned with. That’s not my hubris speaking. It’s just the truth.

  I nod once, power pouring through me. “Ensemble.” Together.

  He kisses my ankle as he raises my leg, slipping off my panties. I keep yanking at my dress, the side of my ass exposed. Though I’m not sure how much someone can spot through the windows.

  Connor sets my panties on the dashboard and then places his hand on mine, shielding more of my body from view. He lifts my left leg over his shoulder, his body hovering over the middle console.

  He whispers, “Lean back and shut your eyes.”

  I do as told, even if I’m not in the bedroom, this is a bedroom activity. And I’d rather not be in control.

  I rest against the car door and close my eyes, trying not to think about anyone lurking outside.

  Connor grips my hips and scoots me closer to him, so my back is at a better angle, only my shoulders braced against the door handle.

  In the quiet moment, a distant car honk sounds closer, and my eyes snap open. I try to straighten and peer out the windshield.

  Connor grips my face, rotating my head to him. “Focus on me. Or would you rather suck my cock?”

  I glare. “Would you like to switch?” I challenge, even though I in no way want to be photographed with my head above his pants. Not if there’s an alternative.

  His head in my crotch. I approve.

  “You know what I find mildly irritating?” he asks, his voice calm, collected, but I hear the tightness of his words, as though annoyance, a hidden emotion, fists each syllable.

  “Your voice,” I rebut.

  He withholds a grin. “Answering a question with a question.” His clutch is still forceful on my jaw. My body is in his complete possession. “This is how you answer a question, Rose.”

  I listen closely.

  “No,” he says, “I do not want to switch places with you. They believe we’re their marionettes. We’ll show them the strings, but we will always move on our own accord.” He pauses, his eyes flitting to my mouth again. “But most importantly, you believe my tongue is expendable.” His face nears mine, which he grasps, and I breathe so heavily as he whispers, “You’re going to remember, Rose, why it’s absolutely essential.”

  I feel myself clench.

  “Now close your eyes,” he commands.

  I have no problem listening to him now, blocking out our surroundings—or at least my imagination that is doing more harm than good.

  I shut my eyes again, and as he lowers his head between my legs, his hand travels from my jaw to my neck. He’s reaching up and choking me with the right amount of force. Oh God. His tongue and mouth kiss my heat—I shudder and grip the leather, the back of my head hitting the glass window, shoulders digging into the handle.

  “Please,” I cry deeply, feeling him adjust his fingers around my neck, gripping slightly harder so I can’t speak. My head lightens…God yes.

  The sensitivity that his tongue plays with—it’s better than any of my toys. It shocks each nerve and flames my core, my skin flushed. I only hear my staggered breaths in the silence of the car.

  I open my eyes. Just to see his head disappeared between my legs. One of his hands is up my dress, clutching the side of my ass. And his other long, outstretched arm lies against my body as he steals my oxygen.

  That arm builds my arousal as much as everything else, my toes beginning to curl. Connor…

  I hold onto his forearm and touch his large hand that wraps around the majority of my neck. And then his phone buzzes by the gearshift, threatening to tumble beneath the depths of my seat.

  He removes his hand off my ass to grab it, but he continues pleasuring me, a second cry in my throat at the way he hits a nerve.

  He passes me the phone, reminding me that we’re a team here. His fingers loosen on my neck, only a little to reorient my head. I keep the cell low and open his lock screen with his password: 0610

  It was a text message.

  Where the hell did you and Rose go? – Loren

  I try to stifle a cringe, hating to think about Loren Hale while I’m with Connor like this. Actually, thinking about him at all is about as low on my to-do list as setting myself on fire. (Setting myself on fire ranks higher.)

  Though, that’s not entirely accurate seeing as how we’re new business partners. I never thought that’d happen. I’m not wholly happy about it but I’m not disappointed either. Besides Connor, my relationship with Loren is the most complex one I have.

  Before I can even tell Connor about the text, another one buzzes.

  And this time, I have a hard time reading the words. Connor suddenly fills me with his fingers, and my back arches and my head tips to the side, my eyes tightening shut, too many heightened emotions overtaking me in a hot, electric wave. My body is his in this moment. He could do whatever he wanted to me, and I’d let him, willingly.

  “Please,” I beg. I used to hate the sound of my voice when I was with him in bed. How weak and wanting it was—but now I love that I can give myself to someone else this way. I’m allowed to be vulnerable too.

  He pumps his fingers deeper into me, simultaneously flicking my clit with his tongue. He squeezes my neck, and I reach a blinding climax, my lips parting. No noise escapes, too breathless to create a moan. My hips rise and my muscles constrict. He leaves his fingers inside of me while I pulse around them.

  Connor raises his head, watching me catch my breath, his own desire washing over his features. He stares at me like he’d rather fuck me at our house than return to my parent’s. If we didn’t have responsibilities like friends and a daughter, then maybe that’d be possible.

  But I like the way our life is. Minus a couple large kinks that we need to smooth down before Jane reaches a certain age. Before we decide to have more children.

  These are the kind of kinks that have deadlines. If we don’t iron them by a certain point, it’s over for us. The Cobalt family will just consist of Jane, Connor, and me.

  I want Jane to have a sister, more than anything else. The best parts of my childhood consisted of Lily, Daisy, and Poppy. And I can’t imagine her growing up without one.

  Connor looks at me as though he’s reading my innermost thoughts, with reverence and intrigue. I touch his hand around my neck and he laces my fingers wit
h his.

  He sits up, kneeling.

  I check his phone again.

  What the fuck are you doing? Samantha just opened photo albums. We’re going to be stuck here for another three fucking hours if you don’t come back. – Ryke

  “It seems we’re wanted.”

  “We’re always wanted,” he says, pulling my arm so I straighten up against the seat. His lips linger near my neck. “We’re the oldest, smartest and most responsible of our roommates.”

  I turn my head to call him conceited and maybe note that his ego is choking me more than his hand.

  The minute I swing in his direction, he kisses me, not for long, but enough that my insult disappears. He bites my lip gently before he releases.

  I swallow, and as I clench between my legs, I suddenly remember something. I am not wearing panties. And I’m sitting on a leather seat. My leather seat. And I’m aroused and wet and—I push away from him and snatch my panties on the dashboard. I try to examine the damage I caused to my beautiful leather seat, and how gross it must be, for me, to sit here while we drive back.

  “You’re not that wet, Rose,” he says.

  I smack his chest. “Shut up—”

  He clasps my hand again and lifts me onto his lap so I can see the seat. No stains, but I contemplate whether or not I should have the leather properly—

  “I’ll have it cleaned tomorrow,” Connor tells me, easing my concerns. I nod and he slips my panties on my legs, dressing me. He reaches over and opens the passenger door before climbing out, setting me on his chair. When he walks around the Escalade to the driver’s side, his cell vibrates in my palm.

  Got the photo. You’ll see it tomorrow. – WA

  My shoulders relax. “They accepted the switch.”

  Connor hears me as he shuts the door, the corners of his lips rising. He was certain they wouldn’t have a problem. His confidence in life and his choices are unparalleled.

  He turns the car on with a much wider grin. “‘Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under it.’”